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Living on the Autism Spectrum

It’s a cold winter day in New York City and the weather is really getting to me. This generally would be manageable but for some odd reason it feels as though there is an unbearable icy sensation penetrating my bones.  I just had a long day of school full of math and science in conjunction with running all of the online marketing and search engine optimization for the company that I work for, essential to live comfortably with high priced living expenses in the most industrialized city in the United States.  The day is finally over and I am ready to unwind from the isolation associated with work and school. The only problem is I have difficulties with many social interactions, that come naturally to most people. It is than that I realize I actually in fact feel more alone while around others than when I am by myself. People think they understand me but they actually are making a drastic misconception of the appropriate use of semantics which is empathy. In other words I know that there is no way I am capable of understanding the pain of a rape victim because that is something I have never experienced myself and therefore the best I can do is try to imagine all the ways in which something as tragic as that would make me feel by the use of empathy using nothing more than my own emotions, absent of logic and reasoning. The only people who are even capable of understanding what being born with autism actually feels like are those who have also been mutated at birth, no one else, just as the only person who can understand the pain of a rape victim is someone who has also suffered from a rape. The one thing that hurts me deeply inside is the assumption that people who suffer from autism spectrum disorders are nothing more than disease ridden individuals, without being open minded enough to look deeper inside of us being able to see the autistic brain as a newly established form of art.

I find it quite easy to tolerate society’s misconception of what they assume to be a thorough understanding of another person’s state of wellbeing, which is nothing more than a minimized feeling of empathy. What angers me is the assertion of the so called disease of autism, absent of any form of recognition of the intellectual and creative capacity of many of the most prestigious thinkers the world has ever known, who have managed to use the specialized talents of the autistic brain to invent many newly effective conveniences of the recent centuries, used by just about everyone living in 21 century America. Calling autism a disease is nothing more than a direct insult to a beautiful gift, which deserves more honor and recognition.

There are two main reasons why autism is such a difficult condition to give a profound description to “normal people”, who have differentiating cognitive abilities in their brain functions. The first reason involves the devious reaction caused by the mechanism  of greed established by the monetary system. The developmental researches in modern day neuroscience have barely received any funding , essential to establish the actual underlying cause of “mutants” (yup we are the real life Xmen lol). It is quite devastating that people have more important things to fund that do not even allow the funding of a grant as low as $100,000 dollars needed to investigate a study that has substantial validity that can be highly effective in major theories supporting the causes of autism. The second reason involves the mechanical structure and functioning of the autistic brain being much more unique and complex than “normal minds”. I have established methods that allow certain individuals, usually very high functioning individuals to understand, however these allegorical analogies tend to make absolute no sense to the general population. The most thorough way of establishing a more profound analysis involves an umbrella allegorical concept suitable to the general population in addition to more specific analogies pertaining to an individual’s particular field of knowledge in which they are most interested in. I will explain the sub analogies after my initial analogy so I do not begin hyper focusing and cause myself to have an autistic breakdown (like my sense of humor:).

I have come up with a possible solution in order to obtain a convenient means, used to troubleshoot the “bugs”, which cause a massive ignorance lacked by the mass majority of the general population. You can be assured that the reasoning behind this serves nothing more than to spread awareness, as I have no interests in any form of fundraising ( I think that delicious donut you just ate supports this evidence, besides other psychological reasoning I don’t need to talk about, but it does give me amusement based on my understanding of non-autistic minds lmfao). Autism is nothing more than a luxurious gift, which happens to cause many difficulties, regarding everyday tasks for individuals conditioned under the spectrum, as Spider Man would say “with great power comes great responsibility¨. These involve everyday tasks easily established automatically by people with normal cognitive functions; however people with autism spectrum disorders must learn these tasks manually making it substantially more difficult.

To be blunt I believe the fascists who run this country do not allow the small funding needed for neuro-scientific research intentionally for one simple reason. We aspies are dangerously good at what we do and they are afraid that if we are given the help we need, we may rise up and over through them if they give us the means to conquer are weaknesses early on in life. Having said that there is not much scientific research to work with and I have no choice but to establish my very own theory in order to effectively give a deep and profound explanation regarding the autistic brain.

Based on the few scientific discoveries conducted by scientists in the fields of modern day neuroscience, in respect to the differentiations regarding the structures and functions of the autistic brain in comparison to the conventional brain of most human beings, in addition to other psychological factors involved in the behavior of the autistic mind compared to the regular mind; a theory can be established that may be effective in order to provide a more thorough understanding of how the autistic brain functions in comparison to normal brains,  as well as the reasoning behind the special abilities of Autistic Super humans such as Albert Einstein, Thomas Jefferson, and John Lock. I have significant evidence that will almost certainly prove the validity of this theory, however for the time being I would simply like to use this as a means to establish a simple composition of every other theory put into one in order to effectively give a general explanation as to what autism actually is. By doing so I am avoiding the need for a 3 hour lecture in intensive radioactive neuroplasticity, which would most likely put most normal people to sleep before I could even finish my explanations.  My theory involves the cerebral cortex and Albert Einstein’s brain.

The cerebral cortex is a region of the brain that allows “normal” individuals to automatically transition from the right hemisphere of the brain, which is primarily responsible for logic, reasoning, and quantitative analysis, while the left hemisphere tends to focus more on linguistics and artistic capabilities. Albert Einstein had a cerebral cortex which was wider than any other known to mankind. This forces autistic people to have to have to use both hemispheres of the brain simultaneously in order to perform normal cognitive functions that most people are able to do easily by being able to conveniently transition between the two hemispheres. This allows most non-mutants the instantaneous ability to acquire basic fine motor movements, essential for tasks such as driving a car or riding a bicycle. Because autistic individuals are forced to use both hemispheres at once, learning these tasks requires the same form of intensive thinking mechanisms involved in solving complex physics evaluations without the use of a calculator. The majority of people I have spoken with either have a difficult time when taking physics, don’t even dare to try it, or are simply not even intellectually or creatively capable of doing so. So it is difficult enough for you to deal with one simple physics class over an entire semester of college without severe frustration. Now try and imagine if you had to think like that all the time for almost every task you had to learn how to accomplish in life in order to be able to accomplish what everyone else does so conveniently and how that would make you feel!! Having said that there is a huge benefit to that very mechanism of thinking once we are able to master normal tasks through that form of cognition.

In general people’s minds are either better at using the right or left cerebral hemispheres, giving them a type A or Type B personality type. People on the Autism Spectrum disorder on the other hand have what I like to refer to as personality types AB or BA. Since we have to get used to always using both hemispheres at the same time we are given the superhuman ability that allows us to either use the right hemisphere to enhance the mental capacity of the left hemisphere or use the left hemisphere to enhance the mental capacity of the right hemisphere (which varies between two different people with autism, one being stronger in logic and reasoning, and the other stronger in linguistics and creativity). By the simultaneous use of both cerebral hemispheres, depending on how high the aspies IQ is we are granted some sick abilities most people can only dream of being able to achieve. For example a type BA ASPIE with artistic abilities can use logic and reasoning as a means to enhance their creative potential by establishing a work of art that blows people’s minds. Despite being a left cerebral hemisphere type thinker (in respect to autism type BA), they can create works of art far exceeding those of other artists with normal cognitive functions. On the same note a type AB aspie who tends to focus more on logic and reasoning can use the left hemisphere(creativity) to enhance mathematical and scientific potentials which require use of the right cerebral hemisphere (logic and reasoning). Not to sound prodigious, especially towards women who almost never make good use of the right hemisphere but I tend to find the type AB aspies to be more fascinating ( and like who doesn’t love themselves ha-ha). AB aspies with high functioning IQs also tend to be those crazy scientists such as Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton who had been granted the special abilities of going beyond the accepted conventional perception of logic ( which tends to give severe limitations to most great physicists and mathematicians, who tend to be type A beefcakes (not literally). Since however these specific types of scientists are also using the left hemisphere, they are given a significant advantage amongst other “normal” scientists, which is the ability to use their creative hemisphere as a means to obtain a much more significant analytical capability blended with creative forms of thinking allowing them to essentially change the normal formalities, which tend to be accepted as unchangeable laws of logic by most of our type A beef heads, allowing them to push themselves far beyond normal limitations achieving newly unprecedented platos of knowledge with substantial significance, such as relativity and the concept of differentiation. I like calling these guys “punk nerds”.

The solution involved in troubleshooting the second difficulty regarding a thorough comprehension of autism requires somewhat of an inverse (or opposite) explanation. This is dependent on the specifications involved. This involves somewhat of a decomposition form of explanation, which is dependent on an individual’s most prestigious area of expertise. I would like to go ahead and go through the scientific explanation of autism because I know it way better than any of y’all and yes I will be cocky in respect to this. Yet on the same note I will allow other people to give their input by answering a particular questionnaire involving autism as well as a pro and con for each response. This incredible honor will be given to those close to me as well as a selective group of highly specialized individuals, through the use of interviews. This is something highly unusual for someone with autism to do, as we take great pride in the work we accomplish and despise the idea of any other person receiving any form of recognition. I will take this to the next level and what I am about to talk about will actually shock some of the most well-known psychiatric professionals.

There is another hidden potential that people with the autism spectrum disorder possess. This theory is suggested by some as proof that autism is nothing more than the next stage of human evolution, since we tend to be highly adaptable to change due to our high levels of neuroplasticity, which is suggested by Charles Darwin to be the most significant factor regarding his theory of survival of the fittest in respect to his theory of evolution. | Gout

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    I have indeed managed to adapt too many changes in my life, being able to overcome many  if not most of the limitations of autism, without having to lose any of the beneficial factors. Most of the significant changes that have occurred recently I thank my best friend Amanda Mayer, who also has many special abilities of her own. The love we have given each other is more incredible than anything you have ever seen in the theaters or on television. I would love to describe more but I am not writing a f*****g romance. I will however say that having her name on this paper is more significant than anything else I have described regarding autism. The purpose of this was not only to express my love for her (men with autism make great boyfriends ladies) and thanking her for helping me create this, but most importantly of all is to prove that someone with autism is capable of going as far as to overcome their pride, love, and dedication of their most significant work and be capable of sharing the credit with someone else. I would like to conclude this with a message to anyone who suffers from autism themselves or has a family member who does to understand autisim that the struggles and fears they are constantly facing in life, no longer have to be faced alone! It sickens me how America provides almost no government support, despite the fact that this country would not be around if not for the great philosopher John Locke, who used his autistic mind to build the very foundation, responsible for the Democracy it’s citizens are privileged to live with, without giving anything back at all. Give the autistic minds the help they deserve so that their brilliant minds can help make the world a better place!


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Gavriel DardashtiLiving on the Autism Spectrum